Difficult Tidy Conversations

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how starting an organizing journey not only affects the person facilitating the decision, it can also affect the family and friends of the participant. 

There are well-intentioned people in our lives who show their love by giving us things, and stuff.. and dare I say.. clutter.

Those folks find items that make them think of you and they must give that thing to you!

Of course you want to seem gracious of their generosity. Of course you want them to know you’re grateful that they are thinking about you. Of course you don’t want to offend their kindness. Of course you don’t want to reject their love…

Okay, deep breath.

Most likely you were thinking of someone specific after reading those last few sentences. 

I am here to tell you that you do NOT have to accept items that you do not want or need.

You are NOT being ungrateful. You are NOT rejecting their love.

You are setting a boundary that you are claiming ownership over your possessions instead of allowing your possessions to consume you.

It all starts with a gentle conversation ~

Friend: I brought you these things, I know how much you love them.

You: Thank you for thinking of me. You are such a generous friend... I am working on organizing my home because it’s been overwhelming managing everything in it. I would love to continue spending time together, but I do not need any more things. I’m at capacity emotionally and physically. Thank you for being a part of this process with me. 

There’s no way to really know how someone will respond but approach them with gentleness and appreciation of all that they bring to your life. Suggest other ways to connect: going for a walk, getting a coffee together, taking the kids to the park one afternoon. 

It doesn't have to be complicated. If someone isn’t willing to adjust their behavior to support your positive growth, then you can give them time or space or whatever feels right to you, but do not continue to allow them to clutter your space with their gifts. 

Their gifts have been well-intentioned up to this point, and now you’ve set a clear boundary, so your friend should want to respect that boundary and support you. 

~

I am working on numerous resources to support difficult conversations with family and friends who continually want to give when you’re trying to declutter and reset your life and your space.